Ultima: Heroes vs Villains: Coop vs Zim
by DoktorK
Summary: Based on the fanfic by Nicktheultimaswordwielder. The Organization, seeking to expand its numbers, wish to invite the Glorft into their forces. However, things don't go quite as planned when Zim decides to battle MEGAS. Does Coop, everyone's favorite fat guy from Jersey, stand up to Zim, the egotistical Irken invader? Let's find out.


(In the corridors of the Organization's castle, the galactic conqueror Vilgax marched away from Maleficent's chambers. In his grip was a cartridge containing data for his latest assignment: recruitment of the Glorft Empire. Vilgax had accepted the assignment knowing that his feats of tactical strategy and physical might would impress them. (The fact that he had a head that looked like an octopus just like them probably help in choosing him.) As he made his way towards the transport room, Vilgax allowed himself a moment of peace.)

Zim: Vilgax!

(His moment of peace came to a halt the instant he heard the voice of the diminutive invader, Zim. Vilgax continued to walk along, ignoring the Irken that made his way to his side.)

Zim: I could not help but understand that you were to welcome a new fleet of invaders to the Organization's armada and decided to donate the talents of Zim to you.

(Vilgax continued to ignore the incompetent alien. Zim, however, didn't take the hint.)

Zim: I see you're speechless. I know, it must feel so overwhelming to acquire the assistance of Zim.

(Vilgax's eye began to twitch in irritation, yet he didn't try to harm Zim. He couldn't understand why though. Zim was easily the most irritating being he ever met, even more so than his nemesis Ben Tennyson. Yet he never could bring himself to get rid of Zim. He was like a little brother; Vilgax hated him with all his might but for some reason couldn't bring himself to actually kill the pest.)

Vilgax: Zim.

Zim: Yes.

(Vilgax tried to keep a cool head. He came up with an idea to keep Zim out of the way.)

Vilgax: Knowing how these missions tend to work, I will no doubt be battling the resident hero of that universe. As I understand things, he operates a colossal mech. If you really want to be useful, go retrieve one and assist to assist in his termination.

Zim: Of course, only one with Zim's piloting skills could defeat this hero. Fear not, I will return with proper weaponry and smite this so called hero.

(Zim saluted Vilgax and ran off. The instant he was out of sight, Vilgax released a sigh and continued on his way to the transport room. Once there he locked the doors behind him and turned to face the army of his giant robots as they stood lined up before a gigantic universal portal machine. Amongst the towering bots stood a mad scientist finishing his work as Vilgax approached.)

Vilgax: Is everything set Dr. Eggman.

Dr. Eggman: Yes. Your army has been outfitted with a new more powerful arsenal and all stand ready and waiting for the call to attack.

(Vilgax handed Eggman the cartridge with the data for the attack.)

Vilgax: Wait for my signal. Once I give it, open the portal and send my fleet. Oh and one more thing, make sure that Zim stays out of the way.

Dr. Eggman: Trying to help with missions that have nothing to do with him again?

Vilgax: Do you even have to ask?

* * *

(In New Jersey, a fat man sat in his basement with his scrawny looking best friend. Both of them were watching a television which was playing an advertisement for a wrestling match.)

TV announcer: This afternoon only, watch the match of the century as The Iron Mangler faces off against The Human Muscle! Don't miss this once in a lifetime event!

Coop: Alright! Human Muscle is going to turn Iron Mangler into a pile of scrap.

Jamie: No way dude, Mangler's got thick metal armor. There's no way he's losing to a buff guy in a speedo. Besides, he gets all the ladies.

Kiva: Could you two focus on more important matters for once.

(The two Jersey slackers looked behind them to see their friend from the future, Kiva, entering the room.)

Kiva: Coop, I just ran a diagnostic on MEGAS and found that you added _another_ modification. You shouldn't just install things like that and expect them to go right.

Coop: It'll be fine.

Kiva: You shouldn't just sit here and watch wrestling on television!

Coop: Oh don't worry, I'm not gonna watch wrestling on TV.

Kiva and Jamie: Huh?

(Both of Coop's friends stared at him in disbelief. Jamie was shocked and horrified that Coop was willing to pass up one of his long time hobbies while Kiva felt somewhat proud that Coop was finally taking his job of piloting MEGAS seriously.)

Coop: 'Cause we're going to see the match live.

(Coop pulled some tickets out of his pocket and held them up for his friends to see. Kiva's hope spot was extinguished as quickly as it came. Jamie meanwhile perked up at the idea.)

Jamie: Nice!

(Coop and Jamie fist bump then made a sign with their hands where they extended their index and pinky finger.)

Kiva: I should have known.

Coop: Hey, relax Kiva. It's not like I won't test it later.

Kiva: But if the Glorft attack-

Coop: Oh come on, it's not like the squids attack every day.

Jamie: Yeah, I bet that they're all beating their heads trying to come up with an idea.

* * *

Gorrath: Commander! Why are we just sitting here? Do I have to beat your head to get an idea?

(Outside Earth's orbit, the Glorft command ship floated waiting to attack. The problem was that they didn't have a plan of attack ready at the moment. The leader of the Glorft, Warmaster Gorrath, was currently coming down upon his second in command.)

Glorft Commander: Please Warmaster, give us time to address the anomalies that we've been detecting to ensure that our ship is in no danger when we travel through Null Space.

(The Commander looked up to his leader and saw Gorrath's glare intensify.)

Glorft Commander: Not the face!

(Just as Gorrath was about to go berserk on the Commander, an alarm went off through the ship.)

Gorrath: What's happening?

(The Commander rushed to a monitor to see what the problem was and went wide eyed in horror.)

Glorft Commander: Sir, the anomalies are acting up again and much stronger than before.

(While the crew became hectic with the warning system, a vortex opened up on the ship's bridge. Gorrath, the Commander, and every soldier there turned towards it in shock. From the rip in space stepped forth Vilgax.)

Gorrath: Commander, what is the meaning of this.

Glorft Commander: Sir, it appears that an intruder has made it aboard our ship.

Gorrath: Thank you Commander for telling me what I CAN SEE WITH MY OWN EYES! SOLDIERS, DESTROY THE INTRUDER OR I'LL HAVE YOUR JHORBLACHS!

(With their command issued, the Glorft soldiers began to come at Vilgax with energized axes. Vilgax stood his ground as the pistons in his arms sank into his skin causing his muscles to enlarge. With each soldier that approached him, Vilgax delivered a punch so powerful that the Glorft troops were sent flying across the room, their weapons dropping to the ground and their bodies creating craters in the ships wall where they impacted. After most of the soldiers were dispatched, a Glorft mech was deployed to destroy Vilgax. Seeing his next foe, Vilgax had his pistons insert deeper and jump straight at the chest of the mech and smashed through it creating a gaping hole. With the hole in its chest, the mech fell to the ground and shut down.)

Gorrath: Bring me more troops!

Vilgax: Now that won't be necessary Warmaster. All I want to do is make you an offer.

(Gorrath looked at Vilgax with a question eye. This guy seemed like the sort of person that would take advantage of anyone or anything he could get his claws on. Vilgax just gave off an aura of evil.)

Gorrath: I'm listening.

* * *

(Back on Earth, Coop was behind the wheel of his car, which was the head of a giant, blue, war robot from the future. With Jamie sitting shotgun and Kiva in the back, Coop drove MEGAS through the streets of Jersey. And of course, driving a giant robot meant that giant footprints were being left in the ground causing drivers to have to avoid crashing into them.)

Coop: I've been waiting for this moment for months. What's best is, I got us front row seats!

Jamie: How did you get those tickets anyway?

_(Flashback)_

_(Coop sat inside MEGAS as he approached the stadium that was holding, and selling tickets for, the wrestling match. However, Coop saw that several other people had made it there and were making their way to the ticket booth. Thinking quickly, Coop used MEGAS to lift the booth off the ground, with the salesman still inside just as the other people got to where it was. Ignoring the protests of the angry fans, Coop brought the booth up to his window and asked the now terrified salesman for his tickets.)_

_(End Flashback)_

Coop: What can I say, I was just quicker.

Jamie: You, quick at anything other than cleaning your plate? I'd love to see that.

(In the back, Kiva's holographic computer started to blink. Kiva began to investigate.)

Kiva: Coop, I just picked a strange energy flux.

Coop: Uh, what?

Kiva: It means something just came into existence. It's probably the Glorft, or something just as big. It might be worth checking out.

Coop: Right, we'll check things out. Riiiight after the match.

(Kiva just sighed in frustration, but didn't bother bringing it back up. Rather, she continued to analyze what just happened and if it could be dangerous.)

* * *

(Back with the Glorft and Vilgax)

Gorrath: So, you are part of an inter-dimensional organization bent on conquest and destruction, and you want us to join forces?

Vilgax: That would be an accurate summary.

Gorrath: I'm surprised you haven't tried contacting us before. The Glorft are masters of conquest and destruction. However, we would never degrade ourselves to work alongside any creatures that cannot stand up with our standards.

Glorft Commander: But sir, he single handedly defeated your private guard and-

Gorrath: Silence Commander!

(The Commander shrank away in fear of Gorrath's anger. Vilgax however saw his opportunity.)

Vilgax: Well then, perhaps you'd like a demonstration of what the Organization may offer. Allow us the opportunity to seize the Earth and your enemy's mech for you.

Gorrath: Ha! If I can't beat the Earth dweller, than your chances are equally futile, but I will give you this opportunity to see if you are as powerful as you say you are.

(Vilgax nodded in approval to Gorrath and brought out a communicator.)

Vilgax: Doctor, begin the attack!

* * *

(Back in the teleport room, Eggman received Vilgax's transmission and smiled. Taking the cartridge from before, Eggman plugged it into a control port that connected to the massive portal device. The portal activated and the army of giant robots powered up and began to march towards the portal.)

Dr. Eggman: Preparations set. Time to take over the-huh?

(Eggman was detracted when he saw the door to the room dent inwards. Another dent appeared and another before finally the door blasted of the wall, and some of the surrounding wall as a giant purplish pink robot with a canon on its back burst in smashed its way through the crowd of robots causing bits of their remains to come crashing down around the room. Eggman had to jump aside as the head of one of Vilgax's robot fell where he was standing and smashed the control port and cartridge. With the controls destroyed, a surge of energy swept through the portal generator causing it to overload and, after the pink robot jumped through the portal, exploded. Without the generator, the portal shut down leaving the transport room a mess.)

* * *

(Back in Jersey, Kiva's computer began to light up again.)

Kiva: Coop, I'm picking up the energy flux again, and it's stronger this time.

Coop: (sighs) Why can't evil ever take a day off?

(Suddenly a vortex opened up in front of MEGAS and out stepped the giant robot from before. In space, Vilgax and the Glorft watched things from a monitor. Seeing something that wasn't one of his mechs caused Vilgax to go bug eyed and then he clenched his fists and had his pistons go in a bit. Only one logical explanation.)

Vilgax: Zim.

(Indeed, it was true. Zim had managed to get his hands on a giant robot. What Vilgax was unaware of was that Zim owned a giant robot for his task in "Operation Impending Doom 1," and was single handedly responsible for the destruction of an entire world with it. The thing was it was his own world, so the bot was confiscated. However, thanks to his allies in "The (Sucky) Alliance," Zim was able to build an exact duplicate of the war machine.)

Zim: Cower before me Earthlings, your universe's future is sealed thanks to the power that is known as Zim!

(Coop, Jamie and Kiva all stared at the Irken invader and his giant robot, letting what just happened sink in. After a few seconds, Coop and Jamie burst out laughing at the alien.)

Jamie: Aw man, is this guy for real?

Coop: A little tiny alien in a giant pink robot! Ha ha ha.

Zim: Do not taunt me, Earth swine.

Coop: Hey, I might be fat, but that doesn't mean you can call me names about it!

(Coop grabbed a videogame controller linked to the steering wheel and began pressing buttons on it to make MEGAS shoot its fists off. The fists flew out and struck Zim's bot so hard it went flying into a building labeled "Fireworks, Dynamite, and Other Explosive Stuff Store" which then went up in a massive explosion. MEGAS then had a new pair of hands grow out to replace the old ones.)

Coop: There the day is saved. Now let's go watch some wrestling.

Kiva: Coop, that alien just appeared out of nowhere. Don't you want to know where it came from?

Jamie: Who cares, Coop creamed him. And in record time.

Coop: Yeah, he ain't getting up from that.

(At that instant, a large blast of energy struck MEGAS sending it flying across the city and landing on its back. Zim's robot climbed out of the rubble it was buried in, the canon on its back smoking.)

Zim: You just made a big mistake insect. GIR!

(Below Zim's control panel, his robot sidekick GIR turned and saluted him with red eyes.)

GIR: Yes sir?

Zim: Start pressing buttons and pulling levers. We'll annihilate this pest.

(GIR's eyes changed to blue at this and faced all the colorful buttons and levers. Squealing in delight, GIR grabbed the first lever he saw.)

GIR: Party time!

(Zim's robot held up its arm and fired a missile at MEGAS. Recovering, Coop grabbed an Atari controller and jerked the control stick to the left. In response, MEGAS's left hand rose up and back handed the missile causing it to fly off and blow up a plane dragging behind it a sign for "Pop TV.")

Coop: Okay, minor fluke.

(MEGAS jumped back on its feet and got ready to face Zim's bot again. As Zim's robot came charging at MEGAS, Coop stepped on the gas pedal and charged MEGAS at his opponent. Zim's robot had a fist transform into a mace. Coop, not wanting to be outdone, transformed a fist on MEGAS into a sledgehammer. The two robots clashed their weapons causing a shockwave of force to knock both of them back.)

Zim: Let's see you stop this meat bag. GIR!

(GIR hung his legs around crank and kept spinning on it.)

GIR: I'm a monkey. Ook ook.

(Zim's robot's upper body began to spin around firing lasers from its hands. Aside from destroying most of the surrounding buildings, very few shots came close to hitting MEGAS. In fact, only one shot actually landed on MEGAS and pushed him back a bit.)

Zim: Ha! I wish I could see the looks of terror on your faces.

(Coop, Jamie and Kiva didn't look all that terrified. Rather, they looked more confused as to how Zim missed them so badly. Zim's robot stopped spinning and pointed its arms at MEGAS opening up to reveal an unbelievable amount of missiles which fired at MEGAS. MEGAS arms came up to protect itself, but this became unnecessary as the missiles flew past MEGAS and imploded on several buildings beside and behind it.)

Jamie: Dude, this guy's worse at fighting than Coop.

(Two skyscrapers that stood next to MEGAS began to crumble because of the damage done by Zim's missiles and toppled over on top of MEGAS, pinning it to the ground.)

Kiva: And he's just as lucky as Coop.

Coop: Hey, nobody is luckier than me!

(MEGAS pushed the buildings off of it and launched off the ground with its rockets. MEGAS tackled Zim's robot and slammed it down so hard it caused a massive crater in the streets and every car alarm in the near proximity to go off (and be silenced by their owners who didn't seem to care too much about the giant robot fight). Zim's robot then grabbed MEAGS's arms and flipped it off. Standing back up, Zim's robot prepared a punch, only to have MEGAS catch it and throw him off.)

Zim: You'll pay for that.

Coop: Oh come on, can't you just stay down. I've got to see who'll win the match.

Zim: Do not try to fool Zim.

(Zim's canon came up again and fired at MEGAS. Coop worked the controls so that MEGAS's hands would replace themselves with laser canons of his own. Firing, both beams struck at the midpoint and built up until the energy exploded sending both mechs flying backwards.)

Coop: You know, for a little guy in a pink bot, he's a lot tougher than you'd think. Time for plan B.

Kiva: Plan B, you don't mean-

Coop: Oh, I mean.

Kiva: Coop, it's untested!

Coop: No time like the present, huh?

Jamie: Oh boy. Let me know when it's over.

(Jamie curled up as Coop pressed the "Moment the Readers Have Been Waiting for Button." MEGAS's chest opened up to reveal a massive missile that launched itself, straight at Zim's bot. The missile made contact, clanged against the armor, and fell to the ground where its engine flickered out. Zim looked down at the weapon before laughing.)

Zim: Your feeble attempts against Zim are amusing. Now prepare for-

(Suddenly the missile exploded and caused a miniature nuclear blast to go off right where Zim stood. Coop sat back in his chair, putting his hands behind his head.)

Coop: That looks like a successful test to me. Now, let's get over before all the parking spaces are filled!

(Just as MEGAS turned to leave, Zim's bot jumped out from where it was blown up. The robot was now missing its outer armor and its interior framework was exposed and the dome on top was cracked.)

Zim: Insolent Earth filth. Now I'm really mad! You won't get out of this alive!

Coop: Oh yeah, you and what army punk!

Jamie: No, never say that. It only leads to-

(Kiva's computer began to light up again. The portal reopened as Vilgax's army finally arrived. Apparently Eggman finally got the transport room back in working condition. The army surrounded MEGAS and aimed their arm canons at it.)

Jamie: trouble.

(Coop took a look at the army and got a determined look in his eye.)

Coop: Alright you pointy headed Napoleon. You wreck half the city-

Jamie: You wrecked the other half.

Coop: You insulted my weight, and you're making me miss the wrestling match of the lifetime. No more Mr. Nice Coop!

(Coop revved the engine and, with a battle cry, slammed his head down on a button on the controls. MEGAS reached out and grabbed the nearest of Vilgax's mechs and crushed its head. MEGAS then lifted the body of the mech and brought it down on another mech and then through the body at Zim's bot. With that, the other mechs open fired upon MEGAS. Under the heavy fire, Coop started mashing buttons to make MEGAS jump up into the air and body slam a pair of mechs into submission. Grabbing a mech by the arms, Coop fired the headlights from MEGAS car head as lasers and sliced the mech down the middle. Throwing away the remains, MEGAS uppercut the closest mech to it, grabbed its legs and began to spin around. Like Zim earlier, Coop used the mech's lasers to fire out, but unlike Zim, Coop had a lot better accuracy and struck more his enemy than his surroundings. MEGAS eventually let go of the mech and sent it flying into the distance where it crashed onto the local "Haggis Emporium." This process continued until the mechs around MEGAS laid in piles of broken metal.)

Coop: There, now if we hurry, we might just make-

Zim: NO!

(MEGAS turned to see that Zim's robot, while in poor condition, was standing back up. Zim was grinding his teeth in absolute fury.)

Zim: ZIM WILL NOT BE BEATEN BY AN INSIGNIFFICANT EARTH CREATURE! NOT LIKE THIS!

(With no other options, Zim flipped up his controls and on the flip side was a large red button with skull and crossbones drawn on it. Zim smashed the button so hard it actually cracked under the force. A red light and siren went off inside.)

GIR: Ooo, pretty light. Wee-oo, wee-oo, wee-oo!

Computer: Self-destruct has been activated. 10. 9. 8. 7.

Coop: Well, that's not good.

Kiva: Coop, that bot's giving off high levels of plutonium. If it goes off, it could wipe out the entire city.

(Coop sighed in annoyance as he shifted gears from "drive" to "Save the world." MEGAS flew over and grabbed Zim's bot and took off into space. Going at max speed, MEGAS flew the doomed bot out of Earth's atmosphere, and well out of range of anything important before giving it a strong kick to get it away.)

Computer: 6. 5. 4. 3. Gotcha!

(For some reason, Zim's bot exploded at that moment. Since it hadn't cleared the blast range yet, MEGAS was hit by the blast and sent hurtling back to Earth. After heating up through the atmosphere, it crashed with a tremendous boom at the ground. Getting up, Coop, Jamie and Kiva were all okay, but MEGAS had a series of warning lights and alarms going off. Kiva checked her computer for damage control.)

Kiva: Well, MEGAS's engine overheated from the quick reentry and the crash disabled most of the motion controls, but otherwise everything's okay.

(Coop began to tear up and sniffle when he heard the news.)

Kiva: Coop, it's alright. We can repair MEGAS easily.

Coop: (sniff) It's not that. It's just that, with MEGAS out of commission, we can't make it to the match.

(Coop broke down on the steering wheel as he felt his world come crashing down.)

Jamie: It'll be okay Coop. We can still watch it on TV.

Coop: Yeah, but it won't be the same as watching it-

Announcer: Live from Jersey, it's The Iron Mangler versus The Human Muscle!

(Coop looked and instantly stopped crying. As the smoke cleared, he saw that MEGAS had crashed down into the building that the wrestling match he had been going on about all day was happening in. Coop quickly jumped out of MEGAS and ran to ge to his seat. Jamie and Kiva just stared.)

Jamie: Well, that was interesting.

(As Jamie got out of his seat to join Coop, Kiva couldn't help but look over her readings from earlier from the fight with Zim and the mechs. Something told her that there was more at play than some egotist with a short fuse.)

* * *

Gorrath: What was that?

(Back aboard the Glorft command ship, Vilgax and the Glorft all stared at the screen that had been showing them the fight. Vilgax gave an exasperated sigh.)

Vilgax: A mistake.

Gorrath: Well that mistake was on equal footing with the prototype and weakened it greatly.

(Vilgax turned and stared at Gorrath in shock to see him smiling.)

Gorrath: If that "mistake" can do that much damage, I'd love to see what your Organization can do when it's serious. Commander, set course for Null Space!

Glorft Commander: Sir, wouldn't now be a good time to strike, seeing as the prototype is down at the moment?

Gorrath: All in good time.

(Vilgax just stared at Gorrath and his eye twitched. It wasn't so much his decision to let his enemies live, he himself would do that sometimes for amusement or challenge. No, the reason for his twitchy eye is because his mission was a success thanks to Zim. _Zim!_ He was going to have nightmares for a week.)

* * *

(In the depths of space, Zim floated aimlessly, now blackened with soot from the explosion, and GIR was floating around Zim doing cartwheels and laughing.)

Zim: Enjoy your victory, Earth swine. It shall not last, for today you have made a powerful enemy in Zim and Zim will take satisfaction when your universe is nothing but a tiny, smoldering pile of vapor dust. And then, the multiverse will realize THE TRUE POWER OF ZIM!

GIR: Yay! I'm in space!

**[A/N] So what do you think? If you liked this story, than you'll love Nicktheultimaswordwielder's "Ultima: Heroes vs. Villains." If you didn't like this story, well still check out Nick's story anway. Chances are you'll actually like his work. Have a great day everyone.**


End file.
